See also: predictions and resolutions from 2021.

All predictions as of January 1st, 2023.

WORLD

  • No draft in US - 99%
  • No new Millennium prizes awarded - 98%
  • Hollowart remains the best site of its kind - 95%
  • Queen of England will survive - 80%
  • Not the warmest year on record - 70%
  • TSLA share price will go up (current value: $1,200) - 90%
  • Kim Jong-Un alive and in power - 98%
  • There will be 50 states in the US - 99%

ROOT

  • There will be at least one new herb in the Official Roster - 98%
  • Root will not still be at OneMedical - 70%
  • Root and I will complete at least one thread - 60%
  • I will not read any full books out loud to root - 80%
  • Root will not date anyone new - 70%
  • I will not get root signed up for cryo - 80%
  • Root will not do any new recreational drugs - 90%

FAMILY

  • I will still intend not to have biochildren - 90%
  • I will not become the (practical or legal) guardian of any minors - 98%
  • I will not do christmas with my parents - 98%
  • I will have three living grandparents - 60%
  • I will not see my parents in person - 90%
  • I will speak to a member of my nuclear family on phone or videochat - 80%
  • I will not get back on speaking terms with my mom - 90%
  • I will communicate directly with my mom (any medium, at least one message each direction) - 60%

MEDICAL

  • I will not get COVID (to the best of my knowledge) - 95%
  • I will get my flu shot - 90%
  • I will not get glasses - 98%
  • I will not attempt suicide - 98%
  • I will still be on all my current medications - 70%
  • I will be taking a new medication - 60%
  • I will get another (fourth) covid shot - 60%
  • My acne will improve - 60%
  • I will not get a sleep study - 60%
  • I will meet with a therapist - 90%
  • I will not meet with a therapist more than once - 60%
  • I will see a dentist - 60%
  • I will not have to go to the ER on my own account - 90%

PHYSICAL FORM

  • I will not grow out my hair past my shoulders - 98%
  • I will not drink more than a symbolic amount of alcohol - 95%
  • I will still be a vegetarian - 95%
  • I will not be a vegan - 98%
  • I will not get my ears pierced - 80%
  • I will not do any new recreational drugs - 98%
  • I will not dye my hair - 90%
  • I will not do a pull-up - 70%
  • I will not get a tattoo - 80%

LIFESTYLE

  • I will not buy a house - 98%
  • I will move at least once - 80%
  • I will attend at least one wedding - 60%
  • I will attend at least one funeral - 60%
  • I will live in Oregon - 60%
  • I will not live in California - 70%
  • I will not get a pet - 70%
  • I will not still be working freelance as my primary income source - 80%
  • I will still be working from home - 60%
  • I will not go back to grad school - 95%
  • I will not legally change my name - 60%

ACHIEVEMENTS

  • I will not win NaNoWriMo - 98%
  • I will not attempt NaNoWriMo - 95%
  • I will not make >= 10 blog posts - 60%
  • I will read at least one new, complete, commercially-published book - 90%
  • I will not get a driver’s license - 60%
  • I will get a learner’s permit - 60%
  • I will not finish reading homestuck - 70%
  • I will not put up stars on my bedroom walls - 80%

TECH

  • I will not get a new phone - 80%
  • I will not get a new primary computer - 90%
  • I will still be primarily using my current primary email address - 80%
  • I will not acquire >100 followers on any new social media account - 80%
  • I will not run a discord server with >10 members - 60%
  • I will get on a new phone plan - 60%

MISC

  • I will not travel outside the country - 90%
  • I will not attend any protests - 98%
  • I will watch at least some of the Winter Olympics - 70%
  • I will not have to go to the ER on anyone’s account - 80%
  • I will buy a new pair of shoes - 90%
  • I will not give 10% of my income to charity - 90%
  • I will give at least 1% of my income to charity - 90%
  • I will not have to take further legal action against my stalker - 60%
  • I will not acquire any new headmates - 80%
  • I will not sign up for cryo - 90%

KINGSLEY SPECIAL: VULGAR

  • I will use a urinal - 80%
  • The search for “from:[my discord handle] fuck” in BOCU will have at least 300 results (current: 189) - 70%
  • I will not piss outside at any time - 70%

KINGSLEY SPECIAL: PERVERTED

  • I will not have PIV sex - 95%
  • I will not go to Pride - 90%
  • I will not have sex with any new bodies - 80%
  • I will not get top surgery - 60%
  • I will not acquire any new emfriends - 70%
  • I will still identify as nonbinary - 70%
  • I will still identify as transmasc - 99%
  • I will still be on T - 99%
  • I will not still be on the same dose of T - 80%
  • I will still be engaged to root - 90%
  • I will still be in love with root - 99%
  • I will still be with root - 95%
  • I will still identify as androsexual - 70%
  • If root and I break up, I will be the one who does the breaking up - 70%
  • I will not get married - 95%
  • B. will start hormones - 80%
  • Conditional on B. starting hormones, they will self-assess as happier than now - 90%

KINGSLEY SPECIAL: FETISH-ADJACENT

  • I will not get caned - 80%
  • I will obtain an ovipositor - 60%
  • I will acquire a latex kink - 70%
  • I will acquire a docking kink - 60%
  • I will not acquire a nipple penetration kink - 90%
  • I will not acquire a pony kink - 60%
  • I will acquire a mummification kink - 60%
  • I will not acquire an inflation kink - 70%
  • I will not acquire a soft vore kink - 70%

KINGSLEY SPECIAL: BLASPHEMOUS

  • I will still be an atheist - 99%
  • I will have my traditional blasphemous sex for my deconversion anniversary - 60%
  • C. will still be Catholic - 95%
  • L. will still be Catholic - 80%
  • I will do or roleplay at least one new excommunicable offense - 60%
  • I will not enter a Catholic church - 90%
  • I will not enter a Catholic church specifically for the purpose of blasphemous activities - 95%